Of movies and fearlessness.

We have been watching SO many good movies lately! They are...

Bright Star - This was one of the most beautiful, romantic, and sad movies I've ever seen. It tells the story of the short-lived but amazingly intense relationship between the poet John Keats and Fanny Brawne. Bright Star was wonderfully acted, the music was unique and beautiful (I especially loved the wordless choral singing), and the cinematography was jaw-droppingly, breathtakingly gorgeous. It also made me want to read more of Keat's poetry! Some of my favorite lines were:

"Was it a vision, or a waking dream? Fled is that music: do I wake or sleep?"

"There is a holiness to the heart's affections."

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Its loveliness increases. It will never pass into nothingness."

"Bright star, would that I were as steadfast as thou art."

Another aspect I really loved was how Fanny's family was so present, and they were all obviously so happy and loved each other very much. It seems like you just don't see that in very many movies, even period dramas. It also added a really nice note of groundedness to what could have been a very sentimental movie (but wasn't at all, for reasons in addition to that!).

I had a lot of fun making graphics from this movie, too. With such beautiful imagery and quotes, how could it be anything but a joy? If you like to see a slideshow from them, click here!


Alice in Wonderland - Finally, finally, finally, we saw it, and just as we expected, we (we meaning my mom, sister, and I...not the royal we...or "We are Bates, sir," (if you've watched Top Hat - and if you haven't, you should! - you'll get it) ) loved it! It was so wonderfully Tim Burton-y (in other words, weird and hilarious and creepy and interesting and awesome), I absolutely loved the music (I'm adding the theme song to my playlist on here as soon as I get a chance), and I loved Alice's clothes! Steampunk, I've decided, is my new favorite style. *swoons* I especially loved the dress she wore at the beginning, the dress the Hatter made (which I can't find a picture of...), the dress the Red Queen had made, and the coat she wore at the end.

Some people have taken issue with supposed "feminist undertones" in Alice - I myself didn't see them at all. There was the incident of Alice refusing to wear a corset. Smart girl! Corsets were absolutely horrible for your health, and just because everyone is wearing something doesn't mean you have to also. It really can be taken as a good message. Then there was the fact that Alice slayed the Jabberwocky. So what? Eowyn slew the Witch King. Girls don't always have to always conform to someone's ideal of what they should act like. Look at St. Joan of Arc - she certainly was no damsel in distress. Everyone is different...everyone's calling is different. And besides, in this case it is a story about a fantasical land where anything can happen and usually does. ;) And finally, people have taken issue with the way the movie ends - Alice becomes an apprentice with a trading company. Oh well...that's what she wants to do, and she's motivated in a large part by love and admiration for her deceased father - it seems to me that she wants to carry on his legacy. Also, if you've read the book, you'll remember that Alice is a very curious, contrary, strong-minded sort of girl. I thought the movie captured her personality very well.

But, anyways, back to the movie!

The Cheshire Cat was so awesome and cat-like! Definitely my favorite character after... [fan girl warning] THE HATTER!!!!!!!!!! Johnny Depp is an incredible man, the way he can be completely endearing even with an orange bozo wig and garish makeup and fake gooseberry green eyes. :D [/end fan girl warning] The Bandersnatch was also rather creepily adorable after it came over to Alice's side.

I also loved the way the movie started. I have a thing about the opening scenes of movies...if they're extremely awesome, the movie goes way up in my estimation! And this one was wonderful (Tim Burton's usually are)...the theme playing dramatically to the backdrop of a full moon overlooking a stylized London, with the title in its awesome font flying towards you through the sky. Danny Elfman was the composer, so, therefore, all the music was completely epic!

And, finally, another thing I really liked was how elements of both Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass were woven in. I've loved both of those books since I was about 4 years old, and it was so much fun to see them come to life! The books are rather (extremely) odd themselves, so Tim Burton was the perfect person to make them into a movie, in my opinion!



Sherlock Holmes - As the credits (amazingly epic credits, I might add, with scenes from the movie suddenly turning into sketches) began to roll as we finished watching this movie last night, these were the first words from my lips:

"That. was. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!"

That about sums it up!

I've always been a big Sherlock Holmes fan (and fan girl, I must admit...I developed quite a crush on him, and that certainly hasn't changed after seeing this new incarnation!), ever since watching the Basil Rathbone/Nigel Bruce movies for the first time when I was about 11. Those were great, but this...this was awesome!

First of all, I loved the whole atmosphere. It was very underworld of London, steampunk-y, slightly seedy, and reminded me a lot of The Ruby in the Smoke (one of my favorite books, and unfortunately the only good book ever written by Philip Pullman, IMO). Then there was the villain Lord Blackwood, and all the fighting, and the creepy "black magic", and Irene's mysterious employer, which all kept it exciting. Then there was Irene herself, who I thought was really cool. I liked the way she was sort of mysterious and obviously had her own life...it was a nice departure from the usual sidekick. Then there was the humor - Holmes and Watson were absolutely hysterical together!

Watson: "Get that thing out of my face."

Holmes: "It's not in your face, it's in my hand."

Watson: "Then get that thing in your hand out of my face!"

and,

Watson: *enters the room where Holmes is practicing shooting and in the process freaking out the landlady*: "Permission to enter the armory, sir.

And then there was the music! Oh my goodness, Hans Zimmer outdid himself on this soundtrack...it was one of the best I've ever heard! It even made Irish music with annoying singing sound cool! It was epic, there's no other word for it.

The one jarring note...what was up with Mary's hair? Correct me if I'm wrong, but women didn't have big heavy bangs like that back then, did they? I really liked her character, but every time she showed up I winced...the hair just looked totally out of place!

But aside from that I enjoyed every minute of it, and I cannot wait for Sherlock Holmes 2!!!


* * *

I've finally been getting a grip on my fear lately. Fear was my ruling passion for years...I was afraid of the dark, afraid of reading scary books or watching scary movies, afraid of talking to people, afriad of what people were thinking of me, afraid to state my own opinion, afraid to make jokes, even afraid of the sound of my own voice. It's a pretty awful way to be.

But I've been realizing that life is far too short to be afraid to live. It sounds cliche, but it's so true. Fear of what people will think of you or what might happen or that you'll look like an idiot can't stop you from living. You are who God created you to be, and you shouldn't be ashamed of that, or afraid people will hate it. And besides, assuming that people dislike you isn't a very charitable thing to think about them! ;)

Fear kept me from being honest with people. I was afraid they'd mock me, or think badly of me, or pick a fight, or simply think I was weird. I'm just not afraid of that anymore. Really, people generally aren't that bad, and even if they are, oh well. Who cares? Does their opinion really matter in the grand scheme of things? Nope. Fear also kept me from being honest with my friends in that I was afraid to talk to them and afraid to show them that I care about them. And it kept people from seeing the honest-to-goodness real me. I've been noticing lately that the image people seem to have of me is often very different from what I truly am. And as I thought about it, I found that I can think of plenty of instances in which the way I act is not quite in line with what I'm thinking. I'm not calling myself a hypocrite...I hope I'm not...I just tend to suppress the real me for, what I realized, is absolutely no good reason at all.

I read this post by Melody on her wonderful blog Vividry a few days ago, and wow, I couldn't believe how perfectly she described just what I, too, am going through right now! And now I have an excellent mantra. Just do it. Thank you, Melody! :)

Feeling fearless (and, if not completely fearless, at least like you have a grip on your fear and it isn't controlling you) is an exhilarating feeling. I'm starting to realize that I'm at the beginning of my life. Exciting things are just around the bend, and anything can happen.

Happy birthday, Kathryn!

Today Kathryn, one of my closest friends, turns 14. I can't believe she's still so young... :) So, in honor of her birthday, I'm writing her the classic chessy birthday post. :D

It's so funny to think that at this time last year Kathryn and I barely knew one another! I'm so happy that we're friends now, though. She always has a willing ear to listen all my rants, is full of good advice or the ability to just listen (which is sometimes the best thing of all), and is a very trustworthy and faithful friend.

She's also one of the (if not the) very sweetest people I know! I'm always so impressed by her caring nature, her ability to get along with almost everyone, and her patience in situations I'd be tempted to run from screaming. ;)

She's also a wonderful writer, extremely talented with graphic arts, and has an awesome sense of humor (sometimes a rather twisted one...but that's why we get along so well ;)).

And she's beautiful, inside and out!

Happy birthday, Kathryn! I love you! :)

Catch-up.

Wow...was I ever surprised to look at my dashboard and see that I haven't posted anything since July 22! So I shall remedy that...I have a ton to get caught up on.

Firstly, to continue with the subject of my last post, my job is going very well! I've been working there for a month now (only once a week, to be sure), and I got my first pay check a week ago last Friday - $111! In case you're unsure what a busser does and you'd like to know, I'll enlighten you. We're those lowly creatures dressed all in black who race around setting tables, clearing tables, offering the customers water, bringing the waitresses baskets of bread for their tables and other things they may have forgotten such as steak knives, polishing the silverware, carrying huge tubs of dirty dishes into the kitchen and emptying them at the dishwasher, filling pitchers of water, and, when all the customers are gone (which is sometimes as much as an hour after the restaurant closes at 9 pm) we move all the chairs out of the rooms, vacuum the floors, and reset all the tables. I'm really finding it to be a very enjoyable job, though, and I actually prefer the busier nights...less feeling awkward about getting paid for just standing around and talking to your friends. haha

Secondly, I'll talk about camp. It was...interesting! I was a team captain for the first time ever, and as that meant going way out of my comfort zone and staying there for five days, it was pretty stressful. But I had a good time, especially during the Olympics! For some reason, my favorite game was a relay in which we had to run to a table, solve a math equation, and then run back to our team, tagging the person so they could do the same. It was very fun in an odd sort of way.

But for the most part, this summer has been rather boring. I guess the excitement and fun of last summer (Milwaukee, a French girl staying with us, lots of parties) had to last for two years. :P Oh well...

Oh, and from computer land I have good news and bad news! The good news - a friend of ours didn't want her computer anymore, so she gave it to us! It's a flat screen, only about two years old, and runs sooo fast...ah, it's heavenly! Our other computer was so slow it was almost unusable. But the bad news is...the sound doesn't work! :( I'm dying...most of the music I would listen to was on YouTube or my blog playlist. :P And now I'm lost in a silent world...sad, sad, sad. Hopefully we can get it fixed soon!

I've been feeling extremely restless lately. I'm definitely looking forward to fall and winter, because I'm just getting very tired of the lazy days of summer. This fall I'll be taking voice lessons at the music conservatory, auditioning for their choir, taking some ballet, taking Spanish and catechism at church, and hopefully I'll be in a musical!

So, I'm sorry I haven't posted in forever! This was probably a pretty boring post, but...at least you all know I'm still alive! ;)

Exciting news!

I have some very big news! I now have a job! :D

Last Sunday one of my friends told me the restaurant he works at is hiring more people to bus tables on Friday nights, since he knew I've been looking for employment for quite a while now. I called them the next day and was able to get an interview Wednesday night.

When I got there, entering through the large front doors (which, by the by, remind me very much of a hobbit hole - they have a huge circular window), I was about 10 minutes early for my 5:15 interview. There was no one in the lobby, but I could hear people talking in another room and figured there was probably a staff meeting going on. I stood awkwardly in the lobby for about 10 minutes, reading and re-reading the plaques, smiling at passers-by, and feeling more and more uncomfortable. The restaurant is at a golf course, very large, and with big windows that showed lovely views of the golf course which I could see parts of from where I stood. Finally a lady asked if I'd been helped or was just waiting for someone, so I told her I was there for an interview. She told me the staff meeting was going longer than usual and I could just sit down, so I settled into one of the four large chairs near the fireplace and pretended to be doing important things on my phone (the only magazines were golfing related, so there wasn't really any reading material).

At last the staff meeting was over, and D., the lady who would be interviewing me, appeared and brought me an application to fill out. It didn't take long to fill out since I didn't have any past jobs, and D. was quite surprised I was done already when she walked through a second time. Then she sat down and interviewed me, which was quite painless and rather humorous. :D

At the end of the interview, she asked if I'd be ready to start this Friday! I enthusiastically said that would definitely work, and so she gave me all the necessary forms and information, such as wear your hair pulled back and what sort of shoes and socks to wear (black, closed toes, with black socks). She also asked if I'd be fine with being a hostess sometimes, which would mean I'd greet the people who had reservations, bring them to their table, and give them menus, which of course I said I'd love to do! As I went outside, folder full of confusing forms in hand, I tried my hardest to not run until I'd at least gotten out from under the archways leading to the door, but I was SO excited I couldn't help myself and ran to the car as fast as I could! Dreadfully undignified, but oh well. :) Earlier in the week I'd thought that it would be pretty cool if they hired me right then and there and I could start working that Friday, but I thought, "Ah, that'll never happen. They'll have to call my references and everything, so I won't even dwell on it," but it happened! I was so happy! I feel so blessed to have gotten a job so quickly and painlessly!

After I'd excitedly told my dad that I'd been hired and called my mom to give her the big news, Dad suggested we go buy my requisite black pants and black shirt right then. That was incredibly difficult - have you ever tried shopping for a long-sleeved, button-up black shirt in July? Don't, if you wish to preserve your sanity! I finally had to settle for three-quarter length sleeves, which will hopefully be acceptable for summer at least. And since I'm so tiny, finding dress pants also proved to be quite a challenge. After I'd almost given up hope since the Petites section had no sizes under 6, I spotted some in the Juniors section that were size 1. They were exactly 6 1/2" inches too long, as I discovered while altering them today, but they FIT! So now I have my clothes...I'll have to take a picture tomorrow so you all can see how official I look. ;)

The other exciting that hadn't occurred to me would happen is...I'll be getting a checking account! Now that is scarily grownup...I'm past the point of no return, no going back now! ;) And I suppose I'll have to learn how to balance the checkbook...fun stuff.

So yes, that would be my big news. Exciting! At this time last week, I'd no idea I'd a have a job in a week! :D

*****
I added a few songs to the playlist at the bottom of the page and deleted a few others. It's quite an eclectic mix...everything from the Secret Garden to Skillet...and I hope you hear something you like! :)

*****
And thank you SO much to Rocina Fontina for giving me the Princess of Feminine Delight award! :) That was so sweet of you!

100th Post!

We watched Eight Below last night. Amendment: my mom and sister watched Eight Below - I ended up running out of the room screaming! Here's a brief synopsis of the movie, in case you've never heard of it: Jerry is a guide in Antarctica, and provides transportation for scientists with the aid of his beloved dogsled team. On one journey, the scientist he is assisting breaks his leg, Jerry gets frostbitten fingers, and after getting back to the station in the nick of time before a huge storm hits, they have to be airlifted to the hospital. And sadly, there is no room on the plane for the dogs. After plans to return immediately to get them fall through due to the awful weather, Jerry is forced to return to the U.S, tortured by the thought that he left his dogs to die. It turns out fairly well, with Jerry being reunited with 6 of his dogs months later.

However, in one part one of the dogs is eating an orca carcass (naaasty looking), when suddenly a huge, hideous, nightmarish-looking leopard seal comes bursting out of it! I screamed bloody murder! Thinking about it still gives me the creeps, in fact. :P I stuck around, slightly petrified by the seal (if you don't know what they look like, here is a picture. *shudders* And they're huge), until the seal, which had vanished back under the ice, suddenly popped out of a hole and grabbed one of the dogs by the leg! That was when I leapt off the couch, bolted upstairs, and started reading C.S Lewis. :P Good comfort for a troubled mind.

But before I tell you how, thanks to Mere Christianity, a question that had been troubling me has been answered, I'll remark that I really dislike movies like Eight Below and March of the Penguins. It's not that I find that morally problematic...I just find them terribly depressing. I guess it's because it just seems so hopeless, since even when things are at their worst for humans, they still have reason and can at least try to find a way out. And even if they do die in the end, if they were a good person you know they're going to a better place, but when animals die, that's that. They're guided entirely by instinct, they don't understand what's happening to them, and all in all it makes for a depressing experience.


Anyways...on to brighter topics!

For months, I've been struggling with the question of why God gave us free will. The answer I was always given was, "Because we cannot love without being free, and He wanted us to be able to love Him." To me this always just seemed terribly selfish, so I figured I must be missing something. I was, and it was all made clear in Chapter Three of Book Two of Mere Christianity.

"Some people think they can imagine a creature which was free but had no possibility of going wrong; I cannot imagine such a thing. If a thing is free to be good it is also free to be bad. And free will is what has made evil possible. Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having. A world of automata - of creatures that worked like machines - would hardly be worth creating. The happiness which God designs for His higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to Him and to each other in an ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water. And for that they must be free.

"Of course God knew what would happen if they used their freedom the wrong way: apparently He thought it worth the risk. Perhaps we feel inclined to disagree with Him. But there is a difficulty about disagreeing with God. He is the source from which all your reasoning power comes: you could not be right and He wrong any more than a stream can rise higher than its own source. When you are arguing against Him you are arguing against the very power that makes you able to argue at all: it is like cutting off the branch you are sitting on. If God thinks this state of war in the universe a price worth paying for free will - that is, for making a live world in which creatures can do real good or harm and something of real importance can happen, instead of a toy world which only moves when He pulls the strings - then we may take it it is worth paying." C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

You would not believe how grateful I was when I read that. For months, I'd been tortured with doubts about free will. It seemed selfish and unnecessarily cruel of God to give us our free wills simply that we may love Him when it was so terribly easy for us to go astray. But after reading that, I realized, among other things, that God does not need us. He doesn't need our love, so why would He create a bunch of automatons simply to love Him? It would be absurd. But He loves us, and He loves us so intensely that He wants us to share in His love. And as C.S. Lewis pointed out, He knew there would be great risks in giving us free will, and He knew it was worth the risk.

With that thought in mind, isn't it awe-inspiring to imagine what the Beatific Vision must be?


Well, back to more earthly topics. I have joined that venerable company of people who have...found their first gray hair! :^O Except in my case, it skipped gray and went directly to white. :P My mom and I were taking a walk and as I ran my fingers through my hair, I glanced down and noticed one of the strands looked very pale.

"It must just be blonde," I thought, since I have a few hairs that are very light blonde amidst the majority of brown. But it looked awfully pale...I looked closer...

"Mum," I said, "I just found a white hair!"

She looked at it and confirmed that yes, indeed, I have a white hair! It's sooo weird... I hope it stops right there for...um...at least 20 more years?


So here it is, folks - my 100th post! I can't believe I've actually written that much on here. I've officially been on Blogger since February 2009, but I didn't actively start blogging until June of last year...just a little over a year ago. I'd wanted a blog for months, but I just couldn't think of anything to write about. Suddenly, however, I started thinking of things, and I haven't stopped since!

And I am so, so, SO thrilled to have 43 followers! It is so wonderful and encouraging to know that there are people out there who enjoy my writing. Thank you SO much! You're all so very much appreciated, and I keep you in my prayers. Every time I get a new follower, I shriek happily, "Yay! I have another follower!"

So, since it seems like people often have some sort of celebratory thing when they reach a significant number of posts or followers or years on Blogger, I thought I'd borrow Melody's idea. You can ask me any question you'd like (within reason, naturally. heehee), and I will answer them all in a post next Saturday! Yay...you get to know more about me...exciting. Sarcasm there. ;) But I really enjoyed reading Melody's post, and I figure, we all like learning more about our friends, be it IRL or in the blogosphere. So...ask away, me hearties! Yo ho!

Summer Days...

Today was one of the greatly anticipated days of summer...the church picnic!

I really love the picnic - I have ever since the first one we attended, and that was 6 years ago! I love spending time with my friends and being outside and playing sports/games and eating picnic food and listening to people play their musical instruments. Today, I ended up playing tennis, badminton (I was so surprised when I realized that it's spelled badminton), volleyball, a game reminiscent of monkey in the middle, jump rope, frisbee, soccer, tug of war, and kickball.

The tennis balls went flying crazily all over the park; I'm terrible at badminton; it was a semi-lame game of volleyball in which everyone kept switching sides whenever they wished ;); the monkey-in-the-middle-ish game took a very long time because of how we are all very good at throwing, catching, and confusing people :D; jump rope was actually quite fun, and I have retained my skillz; the frisbee ended up on the roof of a little concrete utility shed, and I was able to hoist myself up on it with my own two arms...I felt veddy strong! ;) (I'm terrible at frisbee too, though...one of my friends told me to throw it harder and pretend I was trying to take off his head. lol); one of my friends and I were going to play a one-on-one game of soccer, rushed at the ball, collided, and didn't even touch the ball...it was hilarious :D; we all got our fingers hurted playing tug of war; and our ball was commandeered halfway through the very confusing game of kickball. But despite all that, I think I can safely say everyone had a wonderful time! We know how to have fun. :)

Oh, and I did all of the above in a skirt, with no problems whatsoever! :)

I realized today that I'm really not terribly good at most sports, (I might just need more practice, though). I love playing them, however! Everyone has always told me that I'm very competitive, and I guess I'm realizing that I am. *smiles sheepishly* But that's not a bad thing at all, in my opinion. It's kinda funny that the truth eluded me for so long, however, seeing as every time I'm running with someone it turns into a die-hard race (for my part, at least).

Oh, and while I'm talking about sport-like things, I'll make the announcement that I now know how to swim! :D :D :D We decided to brave the public pool one evening after noticing that it's really not that busy and ran into some friends from church, Mrs. W and her two daughters. Mrs. W was able to teach me how to swim! I can now do the breaststroke and the crawl. It's sooo much fun...I can't wait for swimming lessons in the fall! I just wish water didn't have to be chlorinated, since it aggravates my asthma. :P

We watched The Return of the King last night. I looooooooovvvvvvvvvveeeeee that movie...as I'm sure you all know. :) After last night's viewing, I noticed two things (I always notice new things): I like the secondary characters (such as Eomer and Theoden) a lot more than I used to, and this time I felt such an incredible feeling of relief when the Ring was destroyed! I guess it just really hit me...wow...it's gone. They accomplished what they set out to do, and the world has been saved. What an incredible feeling of disbelief, wonder, and awe would fill your heart after accomplishing something like that! This time around, I also really noticed how hard Frodo fought to destroy the Ring. It was killing him, but he pressed on untiringly. He's always been my favorite character.

So, these are a few of my favorite moments from my favorite movie ever: Arwen seeing the vision of her son (it's such a beautiful message of what a gift life and a mother's love is, and always makes me cry); the moment when Eowyn says, "I am no man!" and kills the Nazgul ( my mom and I agree that that is the coolest part of the entire trilogy!); Galadriel helping Frodo press on in Shelob's Lair; Theoden's speech before the Battle of the Pelennor Fields when he hits his sword against the spears; Aragorn's speech to the Men of the West before the Black Gate (both of those parts give me chills!); and the entire end.

*sighs* The Lord of the Rings is just one-of-a-kind.

On a different note, this is my 99th post! :O :D I feel like I should do something special for it, but I've no idea what. :P Any ideas? :)

I am thinking of redesigning my blog, however...even though that makes me so nervous! I don't know...I don't like change. But I am getting a wee bit tired of this layout, so I think I will.

Distant Dreamer

I was listening to one of my mixed CDs that I haven't listened to in a while, and came across this song - "Distant Dreamer", by Duffy. I realized that this is definitely my theme song! :D It describes me and my general outlook on life extremely well.



So anyways...

Life has been going pretty normally. Therefore, I can't think of anything to post. :P Well, here's one thing! I have many teeth issues (hence my oh-so-lovely braces...), and there was a good chance I'd need oral surgery to correct the placement of one of them if it didn't come in on its own. But the good news is...it started coming in today! The only bad thing is that it's coming in through the roof of my mouth - rather unpleasant. But I'm SO relieved that I won't need the oral surgery! Now all that needs to be done is for it to come in all the way and the orthodontist will attach a bracket to it and wire it to the rest of my braces.

I sincerely hope that wasn't Too Much Information for anyone! :/ *smiles hopefully*